Fancy a coffee?

Joanna is struggling. 

Her friends can’t quite understand what the problem is. She recently managed to buy a one bedroom new build in North London thanks to a well-earned promotion and salary increase eighteen months ago. At thirty-one years old, she’s finally escaped from the world of flatsharing and into the new world of home ownership. Plus, she only has to come into the office a couple days a week now, so she can really enjoy having the place to herself most of the time. 

And most of the time, that’s great. She appreciated the warm summer nights on her balcony, a glass of red in hand, watching the world go by in a city that never sleeps. She took advantage of sleeping in on the weekends, no longer interrupted by the sound of housemates pottering in the kitchen down the hall. She even hosted a couple dinner parties already and, whilst she had fun entertaining her friends for the evening, it did feel nice to know that the space belonged entirely to her when they left.

But still, there were times when it didn’t feel so nice. 

Sure, Joanna was happy to keep herself company just fine, but she’d be lying if she said that was her preference. Living on her own made her feel grown up and independent to a degree, but that was never the plan she had in mind. If she was honest, she thought she’d be married by now, maybe with their first child. She’d always wanted a family of her own, and she found it hard coming to terms with that longing remaining unfulfilled after entering into her thirties. 

And then there were the harder days, when workdays were gruelling and post work catch-ups exhausted her. She would come home to a dark and empty apartment, with no one to hash out the day’s events with. Sitting alone on the sofa in the darkness, she sometimes felt invisible, unseen. A tear or two might even escape despite her many efforts to hold them in. 

Joanna longs for someone to understand. 

~

Colette is struggling. 

Her friends can’t understand what the problem is. After three and a half years of trying, she and her husband Douglas finally welcomed their baby girl Charis into their lives, a miracle child and a literal gift of grace. Their many prayers to God had finally been answered, and now they could enjoy their beautiful family of three. 

And most of the time, it’s been great. Colette loves learning something new about her daughter every day. It feels like she is growing up so fast, and so Colette tries hard to cherish every moment with her as much as possible. She knows that she and Douglas are very blessed to be in a financial position where she doesn’t have to rush back into work; she has the freedom to enjoy this time being a new mother. She’s also been introduced to a wonderful community of mums just like her through her church’s parent and baby group every week, where everyone is quick to share stories and tips to support each other. 

But still, there were times when it didn’t feel so nice. 

Sure, Colette loved spending time with Charis at home, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss adult company too. And yes, she did get to speak to other parents at the parent and baby group, but it often felt like everything around her gravitated towards being a mother now. She was starting to lose sight of who she was before Charis, and it scared her a little. Plus, many of her friends - those without children - slowly stopped reaching out to catch up with her, or, when they did visit, it was mainly to see the baby.

And then there were the harder days, when Charis was particularly fussy and Colette was exhausted. Colette would often sit in her living room, once she finally managed to get Charis to settle into a nap, with no-one to hash out the day’s events with. Sitting alone in the silence, she often felt invisible, unseen.

A tear or two might even escape despite her many efforts to hold them in. 

Colette longs for someone to understand. 

~

Joanna approaches the coffee table after service on Sunday. As she pumps coffee into a fresh cup, she sees Colette beside her. Ah yes, Colette had a baby six months ago. It’s good to see her back in church again. Joanna pumps Colette a cup of coffee and hands it to her. 

“Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Colette replies with a smile. “How are you doing? Still enjoying the new place?”

“Yes,” says Joanna, with a wry smile. “It’s great. And how about you? Charis looks really well.”

“Yes,” replies Colette, matching Joanna’s smile. “She’s lovely. We’re very blessed.”

“Indeed. Well, it’s good to see you,” Joanna says politely, before turning to walk away. Except, she doesn’t walk away. She turns back to Colette instead. 

“Actually, I was wondering…would you like to come over for coffee this week? I work from home most days. Or I could come to you if that’s easier?”

Colette’s smile widens, and her eyes brighten along with it.

“I would love that.”