Interlude: The Singleness Anthology
Hello!
First things first - I apologise for my sporadic posting of late. God (and life) can often prompt us to choose what is most important in certain seasons, and recently that has been to take a breather from writing. However, now that I have more headspace to think and reflect on this journey, I am looking forward to returning.
But not quite yet!
I am thinking and praying through my next offering, but for now I wish to share my attempt at a poem several years back. I stumbled across it recently, and I am tickled by how God brings such things to our remembrance at the most opportune times.
May it bless and encourage you this sunny Wednesday afternoon!
N x
Have you ever had those moments where you felt really single?
Like 90% of the time it’s calm
But there are times when the 10% really gets to me
You see, I’m at an age where I’m flooded by engagements on Instagram
Invitations to nuptial celebrations
Baby showers and such
Which causes just a touch of jealousy and discontent
It’s like the whole world is in a story that doesn’t include me
Like trying to find my chapter in someone else’s biography
All the while praying ‘When will it be me?’
I’ll admit that in the past I was jaded
Didn’t feel like ‘the one’ really existed
Scorned by past men who left my heart twisted
Feeling like love came and went but I missed it
Quick to be led astray by compliments and flirting
All the while skirting around the issue of
‘What are we?’ and ‘Where is this going?’
All these DMCs and DTRs only resulting in a pint of B&Js and a broken heart
And you know what, yeah?
I’m tired of little boys who shave playing games with me
Happy to use me for intellectual stimulation and emotional dependency
Until wifey comes along to relieve me of my duties
Then feigning naivety like ‘I’m sorry, I thought you knew we were just friends’
Fam, that is the side chick that I refuse to be
So here I am
Like this piece isn’t already a walking advertisement for how available I am
But don’t get it twisted
I don’t just want to be held
I’m happy to pay my own bills and confident enough to go to the cinema by myself
So don’t believe that this is a plea for release or a cry for attention
That’s not my intention
But…
I know that I cannot possibly be the only one who feels this way
Who desires companionship but is too afraid to say
Cuz to admit that is to sound thirsty
And at the end of the day
It’s all about the chase, right?
Like, don’t look too keen and don’t let down your guard
Cuz guys like mystery and a girl who plays hard
To get to me, you’ll have to jump over the walls that I’ve built
That I’m just itching desperately to tear down for you
Such a paradox, such of waste of time and energy
When loving you could just be easy as breathing
So no more games, no more saving face
No more trying to determine the time and place
No more misconceptions, misunderstandings, miscommunications, misdemeanours
Ms Powell is over it
If it starts with me, it starts with me
Mate, If I can’t find my chapter, then I’m writing another book
A story of honesty so that maybe
My story will lead to your story, and your story, and your story, and your story
And we’ll call it a singleness anthology
